Don’t make me Kick you in the Shale (again)
0 Comments Published by redmonk July 14th, 2008 in Daily.Chuck Norris wrote an open letter to the US congress, telling them to “get off your gas, and drill“. Go ahead. Read it.
I found several bits interesting. Here’s the first one:
With gas at more than $4 per gallon, roughly two cars in every household, and the average annual gas usage at 700 gallons, you do the math.
So uh, $2800 a year, right? So if gas were free would it be okay to drive everywhere? Is there a good reason why cheap gasoline NEEDS to be a centerpiece of American culture and concern?
Funny thing about problems. While some of us can agree what it is, we often seek different ways to solve it. To me, the solution seems to be to drive less. You see, Americans are fat. They’re fat because they drive everywhere. Among other things, being fat makes people unhealthy. Being unhealthy makes people unhappy. Being unhappy sucks.
I’ll be generous. It would be nice for John and Jane Doe if gas were cheap. What is the solution, Chuck?
Though we have more oil in the shale of Colorado, Utah and Wyoming than combined in the Middle East (800 billion barrels), liberals and environmentalists have made it illegal to touch it.
Neat. What is oil shale? Basically, it’s rock that’s got kerogen in it. What’s kerogen? Well, it’s stuff that is sort of like crude oil when you extract it but not really because you need to do a lot more processing.
Ahem. Anyway. Read up on oil shale. It’s neat. Apparently, we really do have a whole lot of the stuff in the states and in fact, mister Norris is totally correct - there is a moratorium on drilling it. Now why is that?
The only major nation to depend on oil shale for energy is Estonia. Why? Glad you asked. Well, so far it’s been a hell of a lot easier to go for crude oil. It’s cheaper to get to. But now that petroleum is getting really expensive, folks (like Chuck) are getting a little bit antsy about those there shale deposits. Turns out companies like Shell tried messing around with them in the 70’s during the oil crisis and well… things didn’t work out so well.
Apparently there is a whole lot more refining that needs to go on to turn shale into petroleum and you need a whole lot of water to do it. Ahem. For instance, in Estonia 91% of the water usage for the whole country is the energy companies, who use Oil Shale plants to generate the nation’s electricity. Ouch. Also, they are responsible for 97% of air pollution, 86% of total waste and 23% of water pollution. Double Ouch.
Norris doesn’t give those figures but he does state the following:
I’m all for doing our best to preserve our planet, but not at the price of losing our nation in the process.
So… nationhood trumps biosphere? Or nationhood trumps clean biosphere? Or nationhood trumps somewhat clean biosphere?
What I mean to say is: I’m all for doing our best to name pieces of dirt after long dead map makers but not at the price of preserving our present culture that lives on credit cards and big macs.
Skip on a bit in the US declaration of independence and you’ll find a “list of grievances”. Who knew? Maybe you. I didn’t until I saw the document nailed up on the door of a local bookstore - right alongside a “We’re closed today” sign. Here are some of my favorites:
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
Ah history. Don’t ever leave us.
The plot drives. In many “chapter” books for kids, the action never stops. If there is dialogue, be it internal or external, is so the characters can clarify the past or speculate on the future. If there is description it is to delineate or foreshadow the upcoming action. There is little room for poetry in this prose - and that is not meant as a knock. It keeps the reader plowing ahead without forcing them to skip any fluffy pages.
It’s almost more satisfying than reading a “chapter” book for adults. Part of the charm of the particular book I just read (Monkey, by Jeff Stone) happens to be that one of my students lent it to me. It’s all about these kids who are Kung Fu experts in feudal China. Each one practices a particular animal style - Tiger, Crane, Monkey, Leopard, Snake, Dragon, etc.
It struck me as I finished the book what a wonderful device that is for the writer. He doesn’t even need to keep the character’s personalities seperate in his head! The character who trains snake style acts snaky. The character who trains tiger acts tigery. How wonderfully simple.
“How do you feel about rolling on a bike?” The drunken passenger of a passing car asks.
I say nothing.
Which reminds me of all the times I randomly harassed strangers. I suppose I wanted attention, or the satisfaction of “getting” someone without giving them a chance to retort. Plus there’s that charm of knowing the person will be scratching their head for the next half hour about what happened and what it might have meant and if the whole event was somehow their fault.
…
“Hey, how’s it going tonight?” Says the drunken passenger of a parked car.
“Good, how are you?” I reply.
Which made me smile.
…
They talk of sustainability. They talk of fitness. They talk of resources.
Truth is, to ride a bike is to drift on the clouds of beauty. Don’t believe me? Check out the product of my fifteen minute ride:
“Cumulative cumbersome cumberbunds cudgel credulity completely.”
Try concocting that while driving. I dare you.
The vaguery begins with a cold hand and ends with the desire to pull the covers up and over. Hiding is protection. I used to understand and some time I might again if the fear is strong enough and filled with enough ghosts. Might, maybe, seems - yes, it’s all just “interesting” and “neat” now, nothing so real as fear but just above the surface.
I wish I could remember what the ghosts were after.
So apparently the comic festival that Karen had a table at was a couple of weeks ago. Heh. So it goes with the communication thing. My fault for not being clear. We passed out a bunch of comics anyway. Marcus got a bunch of “portfolio reviews” from folks. It’s the rare moment anyone gives out honest criticism. I was jealous.
People were running out of business cards to hand out. I got a couple of scraps of paper with hastily drawn figures on them. They’ll be worth millions some day.
Check them out:
Speaking of comics. Go check out Rice Boy. Very cool.
Files have a way of floating about. I find them strewn, disheveled, wearing types that do not fit them - covered in superfluous zeros. Dramedy ensues as I drag them through their folders, desperately in search of names that will make them presentable…
Page 8 words - no color.
